Tori Spelling admits that she and her husband rent their hardcore porn from SugarDVD.com and the company offers the couple free porn for life. The thought makes me want to give up sex forever. Page Six
Paris Hilton look-alike Natalie Reid poses nude for Playboy. Why would we don't about seeing the look-alike for free, when my goal in life is to get Paris to start wearing underwear so we can stop seeing her naughty bits? Page Six
Someone stole Nicole Ritchie's camera, which had nude pictures of Nicole and her friends on it. Nicole freaks out, but not as much as she will when she discovers that no one finds her anorexia in the slightest bit sexy. I Don't Like You in That Way
ABC considers putting a stop to Mel Gibson's Holocaust project. Enough said. Mollygood
Last week was a rough one for Lindsay Lohan, what with the dehydration and hospitalization and the mean letter from the production company and the new tattoo. So, like any good girl, Lindsay took it easy this weekend. And by "took it easy", I mean that she went to Vegas where she partied at the Hard Rock with her new bf, and then was spotted back in LA at hot spot Hyde. Then she' was out on the beach, dancing in yet another bikini
She does look kind of exhausted in this picture though. Guess beach dancing takes a lot out of you
Oh, Lindsay, I'm doing my best, but you're making it really hard to defend you. Can't you just stay home for one night and order in pizza and do coke in the privacy of your own living room?
Back when I was in college, there when nights when my girlfriends and I would get all dressed up and have some cocktails and go out and have more cocktails and get really, really drunk and dance on bars and rock the kazbah and through our drunken haze we would pose for pictures because we knew that we were looking our cutest ever. And then the next day, people would ask questions like "When did my dress get torn?" or "Why did I kiss him?" or "Where did I get that scrape on my knee?" and then the pictures would come back and we would learn that instead of looking hot, we looked drunk, sweaty and gross. And then we would hide the pictures, because no one wants drunk and sweaty pictures of them lying around for people to see.
That's what this picture of Pamela Anderson's wedding this past weekend reminds me of:
Rock on, Pammie. Make drunk, slutty 19-year-old college girls everywhere proud.
Poor Nicky Hilton. No matter how hard she tries, all anyone ever thinks is "There goes Paris's weirder looking sister." (Or at least that's what I always think)
But, ever eager to set herself apart, Nicky got a tattoo on her lower back.
It's a really weird choice to get your last name tattooed on your back, unless you're grasping at straws so you don't fade into obscurity next to your sluttier sister. Either that or when Kevin Connolly turns her around, she wants him to remember that he's doing a Hilton, dammit, a Hilton.
Here's a closeup
There's been all sorts of speculation that Halle Barry is pregnant, and all of it is based on this picture
I want to throw a new theory out there - Halle had a McGriddle for breakfast followed by a giant burrito at Chipotle for lunch. She doesn't look pregnant, she just looks like she ate a meal and the wind blew her dress against her belly.
Good, now that the rumor has been put to rest, I'm off to get some mini donuts from the vending machine. I'm hopeful that Halle and I can start the era of "Muffin Tops are the New Skinny".
What would I do without US Weekly? The actual answer is "work" or maybe "read a book", but what fun is that?
Like the rest of us, US Weekly has been waiting to see Baby Suri. Since we're already at 100 days and counting without seeing her, US has taken matters into their own hands and given us a look into the future
I have a confession: I am not going to go see "Scoop" and I am over Woody Allen. Don't get all worked up. I loved "Annie Hall", loved "Manhattan", I know he's done some genius work, blah, blah, blah. But I didn't care for any of recent movies, and no longer feel the need to put myself through it. You guys can all go and have a good time and get together for tea afterwards and talk about how genius he is and how you love McSweeneys and David Foster Wallace and all the cool indie bands I've never even heard of. I will be at home eating pans of brownies and watching Big Brother All Stars and wallowing in my own shallowness.
But I digress - the point is that while I don't care about Scoop or Woody Allen, Scarlett Johansson is lovely and looked stunning at the Scoop premiere.
And if that weren't enough, she went on David Letterman later and talked about someone buying her a lap dance for her 21st birthday.
Somebody in the party ordered a lap dance for Johansson, and although she was hesitant at first, she decided to be a good sport and accept the "gift." She admitted that she felt awkward during the experience, because she hasn't mastered the fine art of conversation with a stripper. "I never know what to say," Johansson said, "so I ask questions like, 'Are you in school?' [or] 'Is Candy your real name?'"
I do sort of wish that someone had explained to Scarlett that you're not actually there to TALK to the stripper, but maybe that's something you have to learn on your own. She is only 21, after all. She has years of going to strippers ahead of her to learn those lessons.
Tori Spelling just found out that she's getting only a smidge of daddy's fortune and has already been spotted in a Dollar Store. PopSugar
Rod Stewart lets Paris Hilton cover "Do You Think I'm Sexy?" I suppose it's too late to vote "NO!"? Dlisted
Carson Daly goes manorexic and looks like Gollum Rich Famous & Gross
Jordache Jeans hires Elizabeth Hurley. My 7th grade self jumps with joy. PopSugar
Is Josh Duhamel cheating on Fergie? These pictures sure make it look that way. Pink
The going rate for a butt double inspires me to find a new job. Slate
And finally, John Travolta says "Happy Wednesday!"
In the interest of full diclosure, I am the one person who voted in the "Cutest Person Ever" contest. But when asked the following question "How cute is Rachel Bilson?" I looked at this picture
And answered "SUPER CUTE!"
I then looked at this picture
and thought "Not only is she super cute, I really need that top!" I love the color, love the lace. I think I want to BE Rachel Bilson. Is that creepy? Never mind, then. Just concentrate on finding me Rachel's cell phone number so I can call her with congrats on winning my contest.