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March 04, 2013


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March is for daffodils

I remember so clearly the last time I heard Anja's heartbeat, too. Our poor babies. I'm enjoying reading your thankfulness posts and totally understand how hard it is to find joy every day. And the guilt, and second-guessing, and wondering, wondering, always wondering...Sending a hug your way.


I remember the last time I heard Nathaniel's heartbeat. I have a recording of it. I treasure that recording.

I admire your ambition to find something to be thankful for every day. I know I have spent so much time beating myself up because it's so true - there are so many things to be thankful for, and finding those things and remembering them and reminding ourselves of them, I know it's important and best practice for mental health. But in the face of babyloss, it's really, really hard.

I'm so sorry you have this anniversary coming up. The whole month of July was so hard for me. My skin felt so heavy again, like it did right after Nathaniel died. I hope you can be gentle with yourself over the next few weeks.

I'm glad you can find some energy in the fire of anger. Reaching through the computer to send a big hug.

Mrs. Match

I can't relate to hearing the hb for the last time, as when I delivered my angel, her little heart was still beating. But I still remember the last happy appointment, and the trip to the ER where they said the baby was fine, and then just one week later she was gone. It is so hard not to revisit and dwell on the what ifs.
I am glad you are able to find the strength to get out of bed, and I admire your courage and putting yourself out there with your writing. There is light ahead, and so many blessings ahead for you. Wrapping you up in a big hug.


March, We were seriously considering naming our little girl Anya, I think the Russian variation of Anja. It's my husband's beloved grandmother's name. I love seeing it in your posts. Thanks for the hugs. Oh, how I hate the wondering and guilt.

Suzanne, I wish so much that I had a recording of that heartbeat. We do have the videos of the ultrasound, but I haven't been able to watch them. I think I'd fall apart at this point. Thanks for the hugs, too. Some days are tough to be thankful for, but I'm trying. And some days trying is the best I can do!

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