« "Yes, we're so excited" | Main | A new day »

July 15, 2014


Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

March is for daffodils

Oh, oh, oh. I remember this so well. It is seared in my memory, the fear of my pregnancy with M, the panic, the anxiety, the hopelessness, the feeling like it was all on me and there was no way I could manage that responsibility when obviously I had failed before. I want to say to you that it is ok that you don't know how to do this, but I doubt that helps. One thing I do want to say is that your positivity or negativity is not going to affect the baby deeply - I have no scientific evidence for this (that is probably obvious) but I do have an incredibly sweet, happy, confident and secure baby boy who grew inside an anxiety-ridden, negative, and basically hopeless mama. He was a fussy baby and a few people told me it was probably because I was so stressed out while I was pregnant and it was all I could do to keep from spitting in their faces because: YOU TRY IT. You try living with that fear and responsibility for month after month, with a healthy portion of grief thrown in. And then also a little sneaky part of me wondered if they were right - I can always find one more way to blame myself, it seems. But he grew out of that crankiness and he is a delight and I wish I could at least go back and take that one worry off my shoulder - the worry that he would be affected by my stress - because the other worries - THAT HE WOULD DIE - are big enough and we don't need anymore. You are doing a wonderful job of this - I say this because I honestly think that if you get through this with a shred of sanity intact, you've done a great job. It is REALLY FUCKING HARD.

Sending love and hugs: your comments on my blog helped get me through M's pregnancy and I will never forget that - I wish I could do something to help you out now...


Give yourself permission to feel the way you feel: stressed, panicked, worried, triggered. It's OK to feel that way. It won't hurt this baby that you feel this way.There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with feeling this way, so don't be so hard on yourself. If you feel like crying, DO IT. If you need to pace, do it. Find things that relax you at least minimally, like taking walks, or getting lost in movies or novels. Don't listen to anyone who tells you to be more positive, even your husband. You feel what you feel and you have good reason to feel it.


It's OK to feel tired and stressed and scared. I don't think it can be avoided entirely and not sure it would be good to try. I would say only, if it gets overwhelming, find a professional you can talk to (maybe your doctor can recommend someone?) Take care :-)

The comments to this entry are closed.

My Photo
Blog powered by Typepad